How to write funny when you're not feeling funny

When life gives you lemons, write some really tedious crap about lemons that on second inspection wasn't that bad.

Thanks to subscriber

Arbi El Ayachi

for this question. You can ask more questions like this in my chat which I believe I can’t embed here.

Sometimes a lead image can just be Futurama, because I like Futurama

Firstly, let me talk about myself

I relate to this question a lot. I actually went to therapy in the mid 00s stuck on the idea that sometimes I’m off, and sometimes I’m on. When I’m on, I’m not just the life and soul of the party, but I’m also able to write really freely and come up with great ideas. When I was off, I was yearning for the “on me” to magically be transported back in to my brain. I’d convinced myself I was actually 2 different people, one good and one bad. I wanted to find out how I could kill the bad one and just live my life as intended as the good one. I’d coincidently stumbled on the Jungian shadow-self theory.

At the time I was a stand-up comedian in the competitive and stressful city of London. I felt this “on and off” feeling in my personal and professional life. To me, a night where I wasn’t firing on all cylinders was a bad night. I felt I was being judged and people didn’t want me around, of course this feeling was completely from within. I don’t remember the therapist being very useful outside of asking my how that made me feel, and charging me £80. However, as I got older, I grew less attached to the idea of having an identity at all, and that helped. I still notice I have times where ideas flow more freely, and my performance and writing feels more fluid, and my social skills are at a peak. And I notice times where everything feels like a struggle and I want to make a little yurt in my bed and watch back to back episodes of Survivor.

I suppose the epiphany, which can sometimes feel less like a “tadaa!” and more like stepping in something wet - is that it’s just a good and a bad mood. It doesn’t change who you are or what you are capable of. Some days your head is full of judgemental people booing you, and sometimes they’re quiet. In my case they’re rarely encouraging (thanks mum!). People do all sorts to quiet the voices, meditation, ketamine some people even exercise! There are lots of things you can do to help but you can’t really stop the tide so you might as well just carry on.

Is this helping me? God I hope this is helping me! Are my legs a perfect swastika? - Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Don’t set yourself the task of being funny, or even good

When marathon runners train they don’t do a marathon every day. I mean what do I know, but that seems bonkers.

Doing a marathon every day sure is hard, but not as hard as spending time with my family - Photo by Greg Rosenke on Unsplash

Only set yourself the task of writing true things, this can be done even if you are in the throes of self-despair: “Write a list of 10 things you hate about yourself!”.

Exercise: The Power Of Lists

You can even use the voices of descent as a writing team

A comedy writing exercise that turns the voices in your head into comedy gold!

You can always punch it up another time when you’re feeling less judgemental. I find if I write when I’m in a judgemental state, sure I think it’s bad at the time, but when I look back over it in a flow state I realise it wasn’t that bad. And the more you practice writing when you’re not feeling good, the more you de-program yourself out of this idea of being blocked, useless and unfunny half of the time. Sure it’s not as fun, but you’re doing something. Maybe you can spend this crunchy state doing more admin type tasks like editing and researching. Whatever just do something ya lazy bum!

Start writing “first thing in the morning”

Full disclosure, first thing in the morning is around 10:30am for me. I’m not going to sit here in my dressing gown and tell you I have 2 glasses of alkaline lake water, jump in to the ocean, do 100 burpees and then feed my 7 foster children “Mummy please stop doing burpees and feed us!”. And I do all this before working on my 8th novel… and then writing jokes about pubic hair. No, my life is about as close to student life as a 44 year old can get. But experience has taught me I do my best, or at least minimally judged writing before I’m fully awake.

Merrill Markoe

puts it very eloquently here.

How to leap-frog over your nagging critical parent by writing at 5 A.M.

5am, 10:30am - what’s the difference?

Work with, not against your procrastination/ADHD

While writing this article I’ve researched and bought a new oven seal, looked far too long for a cartoon I drew in probably 2003, defrosted the freezer, called the dentist, and many many other things.

Look at this beautiful bastard

It actually takes me days to write something like this. Not full days, God no! Just plugging away at it in 20-90 minute bursts here and there. Hopefully you are more disciplined than me, most people are. And if you’re not, that’s OK too! The point is, writing is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be something that you want to do - not a chore.

reductress.com/post/how-i-get-it-done-i-simply-dont

Don’t beat yourself up about not being productive, just appreciate that you are being creative at all. Aim to have at least one new bit every week in your set, it all adds up. Or perhaps you can be more ambitious than that. Just be realistic about what you are actually capable of, and don’t try and be a better person than you are, in too fast an increment. This whole “new year new me” mentality works for a little while, then you end up rebelling big time. Just be honest and realistic. Again, is this just me?

Something that works for my (actual) ADHD is to be working on lots of different things at the same time. I’m constantly jumping around from project to project, which in the old days would make me feel like a complete mess, but now I realise it’s just my process. I have to feel like I’m failing at something, to be productive on something else. Perhaps I don’t feel like working on an article, I might even start to do my taxes! Yeah take that you stupid article - guess who filed her expenses for this year - SUCKER!

Figure out what your motivation is

People say they do creative things for themselves, and I always think they sound like liars. What’s the point in creating something if nobody is going to see it? Am I very broken? Personally I am motivated by other peoples disappointment, and by spite. I have convinced myself I need to have 2 new articles a week or my readers are going to be PISSED!

Where’s this weeks article you bitch!?

Spite has always been a motivator for me. The first comedy bit I wrote was directly attacking my ex-boyfriends new girlfriend through a children’s book. Yes, I used to be a prop comic. I’m regularly attacking people that have their shit together, rich people, men. My Substack is mainly motivated by spite against the kind of comedians I can’t stand. In fact my whole comedy class was created using that same fuel.

Writing new stuff just feels better, it’s more fun to perform and it’s more fun for your audience to see you having fun. it’s essential to the life-cycle of being a comedian so if you really can’t be bothered to do it then maybe take a break? Maybe comedy isn’t for you after all? These things are all OK! Life is long and can be filled with many different hobbies.

Change location

I’m fine thanks, I’ll just have another glass of tap water - Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If you’re feeling burnt out you don’t have to be chained to your desk, even if you’re getting a tax rebate on it. Comedy can be written while you’re on a walk or a bike ride. I like to go to different cafes around town and stuff my face with cake, and judge people with really boring seeming jobs.