Do female comedians talk about sex too much?

Also: How to make a good sex joke.

I’m going to split this article into: This is an Intro, Perhaps it’s true, Perhaps it’s untrue and How to make a good sex joke.

This is an Intro

I hear this often [that female comedians talk about sex too much]. I’ve heard it from all genders, and I’ve been given it as a “compliment” how I don’t talk about sex all the time like the other “female comedians”. I hear “wow you’re almost as good as a man boy comedian!”.

My gut reaction is, this is just another way to shit on women. We know it’s not cool to say “women aren’t funny” any more, but now it’s women a too much this and not enough that. It’s 2024 and both men and women alike are still trying to steer the boat on exactly how a woman is allowed to exist.

BARP! - Photo by Alonso Reyes on Unsplash

However, funny is funny. And if a woman, or anyone’s material is being met with “hurpdy durr too many nipples” Rather than 🤣🤣🤣, then perhaps the material could be tuned up? Perhaps there is a disconnect there between one’s authentic voice and the ego voice. Damn that was the most philosophical I ever was! I just instantly grew a white beard. On my VAGINA! 🤣🤣🤣

My vajayjay (in marble) - Photo by Andy Bodemer on Unsplash

In the 80s, it was often said that female comedians talk about their periods too much. It was probably just one comedian one time and then everyone was like “Female comedy is a failed experiment! Shut it down!”. But it’s the same thing again, wearing a less period-stained dress. Men have been used to controlling the narrative and baulk at anything they can’t relate to. Sex from the female perspective is no different.

Perhaps it’s true?

Do women talk about sex more than men, or do we just criticise women more? The latter is definitely true, and the former is hard to prove. In a logical sense, straight men probably veer away from sexual topics, because even with the best intentions it’s hard to not sound like a sex pest. I’ve noticed this in class, when a perfectly innocent bloke will do some material about how if at all possible he would like to have sex with a woman at some point in the future please, and I’m just sat there thinking “Keep it in your pants, pervert!”.

Here are some other reasons why women might talk about sex on-stage more than men:

• Because they can (see above)

• They have been seen as sex objects their whole lives so it’s a prevalent subject.

• They have been treated horribly by men and the comedy stage is a good place for pay-back.

• People like sex, right? So they will like my sexy sexy jokes.

• It’s empowering for me as a women to talk freely about sex.

Other than writing on what you think your audience might like, rather that what you want to write about (hack), most of these are valid reasons to write about a subject.

I have to admit I have noticed it myself that sex and dating occupy a lot of time in the average female comedians set. But the question is, am I just noticing it more because of my internalised misogyny?

Perhaps it’s untrue

Let’s assume that there is no difference between the amount men and women talk about sex and private parts. I mean how many male comedians talk about their dicks and wanking all the time? And we’re like tee hee penis, but eww gross vagina. Louis CK talked about his downstairs operations a. lot. and we never branded his material as “a bit too much sex for me” and look what happened! Maybe we should have shamed him more earlier on.

Grow up people and stop picking on women!

How to make a good sex joke (for all genders)

Sex is one of those topics that’s easy to make hacky. It’s one of the “rude” topics, and rudeness itself often gets a chuckle, so an inexperienced comic will think “I have made a joke”.

I’m going to use this Amy Schumer joke from the Inside Amy Schumer series from 2013. No, this wasn’t the last time a woman made a funny sex joke, I just can’t get this particular joke out of my head.

I don’t really care what you think about Amy Schumer, she’s made some damn good comedy. And yes she is a famous joke thief and war criminal. I personally think she’s just a victim of a very successful and concentrated incel attack that no comedian could withstand. Feel free to come at me in the comments regarding Amy Schumer, I am ready to defend her(comedy).

Anyway here’s the joke transcript (I can’t find a video), from the amazingly prolific transcripts.foreverdreaming.org.

No one's ever cum on my face. That surprises a lot of people.
Never caught one up top, as they say in the biz.
Again, I'm not against it. I'm not for it.
I'll never be, like, picketing with a sign with an arrow toward my head, but...
But no one's ever gone for it.
I don't know what I would do if, like, my boyfriend went for it.
My guess is I'd be like, "No, my dad loved me!"
Like, that kind of a... a maneuver.
Like, "Aah!"
Or maybe I would do something adorable, like, pull out a tiny umbrella, like, "Not on my watch."
And walk out twirling it and kicking.
This is what it would look like.
This is what it looks like, okay, if you... if you cum on your girlfriend's face.
Like, your normal girlfriend without having a talk first.
This is the best-case scenario, okay?
Best-case scenario.
You do it, and she goes

"Oh. Okay. Okay.
"Yeah. Are you still going?
Did you eat something different?
What are you doing?
No, I'm not mad, but get me something, get me something.
You want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
Give me a...
Is this your underwear?
Go get a towel! Wet a towel.
Idiot."

That's the best-case scenario.
Yeah, trust me, she's not gonna shock you.
She's not gonna be like, "Yes! Finally!"
♪ Finally, it... ♪
No.

1. Take sex out of the joke, is this still a good joke?
   Maybe this joke wouldn’t be quite as impactful if it wasn’t about cum? But it has enough very visual act-outs and specific references + attitude to have all the makings of a great joke.

2. Are you just trying to tell your audience you fuck?
   Audiences can always smell a rat. They might not know what stinks, but they’ll hold their noses. Comedy is no place for humble braggers, and every place for huge failures. Part of Amy’s deal is sluttiness, but always with a dash of vulnerability. As someone who doesn’t usually like sex jokes, I relate to this whole piece because I just feel like I’m there. Especially the umbrella part. I think of that every day.

   

   And I always think of Totoro from Stuido Ghibli. I know, who’s trying to cum on him??

Oh god, omg

3. Is there enough absurdness creative act-outs to make this not your run-of-the-mill sex joke?
   ”Be so good they can’t ignore you” - Steve Martin
   People will love any joke on any topic, even one of their “no no” topics, if the joke dazzles them. And they’ll probably laugh super loud if crosses their boundaries in a spectacularly creative way.
   To me, Amy’s joke is creative enough that it transcends.

4. Is your joke only funny because it’s gross and cringe?
   Going back to the topic of rude ha-has, it’s fine to throw a few in but it can’t be the whole joke

5. Is your joke broadly sexist?
   Men are trash! Women be shopping! Non-binary people be… bouldering? Broad-stroke sexism doesn’t tend to be that funny, it’s kind of alienating. I always say, you can do “isms” - but make them so specific and creative that everyone needs to hear more of where this whacko story is going. Even if you’re throwing out a “men are trash”, which is punching up so it’s technically allowable under the comedy constitution, we need more.